Haha while cleaning my room last night, I found this lovely poem my friend Kyle and I wrote in our senior english class (which was actually my junior year). The class was a joke (a very entertaining one, to be sure) so we just sat in the back corner being ridiculous the whole time, paying no attention yet somehow being totally on top of things, meanwhile getting probably the best grades in the class, and I’m not even kidding. The screwing around extended into our actual assignments, including this poem, which for some reason was a group thing… o.0 As a poem, it’s pretty awful. As awesomeness, it’s pretty awesome.
Obey the cookie, so you must
If in your life you place your trust
For if you don’t, I warn of woe
This, so very well I know.
The time will come when carrots fly
And then you must prepare to die
For when the airborne carrots come
The cookie is the only one
That can save you from this dreaded fate
So obey the cookie, for the cookie is great!
Many enemies will arrive for battle
Armed not with a knife, nor bow, nor lance, nor paddle
But with an indestructable sword of foam.
Now there’s a weapon worth a poem!
If you are not also equipped with a foam sword
Your opponent will likely get rather bored
For you will die quick, yes you will die fast
and your death forever and ever will last
For death is something that can’t be reversed
Unless it was caused in a battle rehearsed
With a sword made of jello or goo
Making it rather hard to actually stab through.
It’s another story if the goo is glowing
Because then you must hide from radioactive snowing.
I would suggest, when the world goes helter-skelter
That you take advantage of the cookie’s shelter.
The cookie will protect you when no one else can.
The cookie is awesome. The cookie’s the man!
Don’t diss the cookie, or beware its wrath
No fury compares to that which the cookie hath.
With power over carrots and jello and foam
The cookie is watching wherever you roam
So even if respect is something you lack
Obey the cookie, and it will watch your back.
No matter your status, or struggle, or strife
Obey the cookie if you value your life!
- @NathanFillion: Paul Allen. You DO have millions and millions of dollars. You DON'T have a Firefly collection for your Sci-Fi Museum.
- @NathanFillion: I DO have lots of crap I stole from the set of Firefly and Serenity. I DON'T have a kick-ass house in the Hills with a pool and guest house.
- @NathanFillion: Maybe we could work something out...
- (via browncoats, but I watched him tweet this too)